


The Girl Who Flew to a Star and Danced with a Clockwork Heart

by cynassa



Category: The Fairyland Series - Catherynne M. Valente
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 11:52:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2811053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cynassa/pseuds/cynassa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which a halfway-to-adult girl named September makes many choices, flies to a star and goes to a celebration.</p><p>Future-fic, set after the unreleased next book.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Girl Who Flew to a Star and Danced with a Clockwork Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Yellowtaffeta](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yellowtaffeta/gifts).



Once upon a time, a girl named September had everything she thought she wanted.

As all adults know by the time they are adults, this is very dangerous. There are only three more dangerous things for anyone. The wisdom of adults is what keeps them from having adventures. September, not being an adult yet (although, being fifteen, she thought of herself as halfway-to-adult in her mind) did not know that this was dangerous and only thought that she must be a most ungrateful halfway-to-adult.

“Ell,” she said, “It’s strange what a quiet time we’ve had in Fairyland this time, no adventures at all.”

Ell groaned, “You’ve jinxed it, September.” 

September started guiltily, because of course, while she had not meant to do so, she had not not-meant to do so. Everyone knew that to remark on the quietness of the surroundings, or one’s boredom or how no one at all seemed to be doing anything was a cue for Fairyland to fold itself into an adventure for you. 

A-through-L shrewdly looked her over because he had had an idea that September had been just a little bored in the last few days. He gave an inward sigh because he had finally reached a state of his apprenticeship where he could begin to explore the more dangerous parts of the library (though the High-Above portions, and the Dark portions were closed to all but the Masters, and naturally only Dwarves could handle the Tunnel portions, Dwarves and the famous Mistress W. who was a legend whose travel histories could only be read after completing the Librarians’ Quest.) He rather regretted having to leave the library not to mention the young moon, but he smiled cheerfully enough at September and said, “It will be nice to have an adventure again, just like old times.”

This naturally, was the necessary response to really set off an adventure. 

Before September could reply and say, no thank you, she hadn’t meant it, because she could see that Ell was very comfortable where he was, and would only come on an adventure to oblige her because he was a dear sweet Wyverary, a little man came into the library huffing and puffing and waving around Scientifick papers. You could tell that they were Scientifick because they were covered with diagrams and with writing that looked like diagrams too, and was utterly incomprehensible. The more incomprehensible they were, naturally the more Scientifick they were and these were quite quite impossible.

“I must have a star,” he demanded of the Wyverary.

This, September decided, was sure to be her adventure.

The man waved around the papers some more and explained that he had been studying Star Magic, which many in the Scientifick community believed didn’t exist. Yet, the man said, he had nearly perfected the maths of it and only needed a star to prove it. “So, you see,” said the little man, puffing himself up excitedly, “I must have a star.” 

Ell tilted his head and looked doubtfully at the papers. “I can find you books about stars,” he suggested. 

“No, no,” the man cried. Then very abruptly he calmed down. He took out a handkerchief and absently mopped his brow with his papers. “I can see,” he said, “that I have explained very badly. I have a machine that mimics stars perfectly, quite perfectly, which means Star Magic exists. I need a volunteer to go in my machine to find a star and bring one back so when I have my lecture they can see the resemblance. It could not have been done before, no star would allow one to catch it, but now it is possible—with my machine!”

“Oh!” Ell exclaimed, “Do you want me to put an advertisement on the board?”

“Yes,” the man said firmly, “you will say that Professor Victor wants a Brave Adventurer to test his new machine. It can only carry one person so they will have to be very brave.”

September thought it was the proper time to interrupt, before an advertisement took her adventure from her. “I’m a Brave Adventurer,” she said, although she sounded a little doubtful about the capital letters that she could hear in the words. She had certainly had adventures and in the stories told later she was certainly brave but she had never felt brave. Most of her adventures had been thrust on her.

The professor stared fixedly at her, and then demanded, “Can you work a machine?”

In this September stood on surer ground, “If you show me how.”

The man nodded once, decisively, “Let me take you to my workshop.”

“September!” The exclamation burst out like Ell had been holding himself back.

The professor looked between the two of them then said kindly, “I will go find a place from where we can travel, and you and your friend can have a moment alone.”

After he left the room they stared at each other a moment, then September said, “I think this adventure is just for me.” She was proud that her voice didn’t tremble at all.

“But September,” Ell whispered wretchedly.

September kissed him on his cheek. “Adventures,” she said firmly, “are for those who want them.”

“But what will you do alone?” Ell shook his head and then stared at her, “What if everything goes wrong and I’m not there to help you?”

“Everything probably will go wrong, or it wouldn’t be an adventure,” September said ruefully, “I’ve learnt a little magic, and it will only be a very little adventure. I’ll probably be back in a day.”

September had always known that her lives and the lives of her friends from Fairyland would intersect but not run together, Fairyland was a twisty-turny place. More and more she was finding that adulthood was as twisty-turny as the strangest path in Fairyland and that some things had to be done alone. She already regretted that her big, knowing friend wouldn’t be with her but once she had made her decision, she felt she had to carry it through.

“Back in a day,” Ell echoed and at the tail end of his sentence the professor was back and calling to them to follow him as he ran back the way he had come in. September hurried along behind him with Ell bounding along behind them.

“I need a space for the door,” the professor called behind him. Then they reached the outer walls and he hurried them outside to the empty road, and placed a little ball on the ground. In front of their eyes it grew into a respectable sized door in the ground. 

“We will have to jump through, it is a minor inconvenience but I will fix it,” he said as he pulled it open with effort. “It became so difficult carrying along my inventions,” he explained at a shout while they drifted down the long path between the door and wherever it was Professor Victor was taking them, “and when I was working with Improbabilities of course, the machines would break down just at the most unlikely places. So I decided I would take my door along instead. Much simpler and such a sensible solution, I’m sure you’ll realize.”

The landing was surprisingly gentle. Even Ell’s wings only crashed into two beakers and a funny looking lantern, thankfully unlighted. The first sight of the machine reassured September; it looked like a car, except smaller and narrower and without wheels.

“When will I leave?” she asked. 

The professor looked up from where he was already busy pointing out the controls to say, “I thought perhaps right now.”

“Right now,” both she and Ell exclaimed. 

The professor looked a little sheepish. He gestured at the screen in the front of the car and said, “there’s a star that is right on course, very easy to pick up. The sooner you go, the sooner you’re back.”

He looked determined beneath the sheepish look.

September turned to Ell and said, “Since I’ve decided to go I might as well.”

Ell looked suspicious, but seeing September was fixed on it he merely sighed and nodded.

“How soon will I be back?” September asked.

“It shouldn’t take very long,” the professor said encouragingly, “you just have to catch the star and then find the nearest asteroid.” He held up a little ball like the one he used to open his door. “Just bounce this on the surface of the asteroid and come through.”

September kissed Ell one last time and then got the professor to run through the controls slowly, twice. She remembered how much more difficult it had been to drive a car than she had thought it would be and was determined not to be out in space having forgotten whether she needed to be in first gear or not.

\--

September ticked off the list she had made. She had actually searched out paper and chalk from the compartment under the controls to do it. She was sure now that she was being dragged out of her course by something out of her control. She wasn’t sure what to do, but decided that if she couldn’t see what it was soon, she would try to find an asteroid and use the ball back to the professor. He would be disappointed but she reasoned that he should have warned her that something like this might happen.

She sat back and wondered how long she should wait before she looked for an asteroid. She wasn’t at all sure that she would be able to find one, but she shoved her budding fear down and reminded herself firmly that she had wanted an adventure and adventures weren’t prone to going as planned.

She felt a slight jerk, and sat up. On the controls she could see a big body on the edge of the screen, big enough to be a star but not the one she’d been trying to catch. Half remembered lessons from school told her that the gravity of the star had probably been dragging her off course. Another jerk pulled her in another direction but with far less strength. She stood up in surprise when there was a tap on the car. There was another tap, and then a woman’s voice came through.

“Hi, I need to talk to you.”

“Can you hear me?” September asked

“I can hear you. Now listen, I’ve got a problem and I’m glad I’ve got another adventurer here to talk it over with.”

“I’ll try to help,” September called back. Then, “My name’s September.”

“I’m W,” the voice said dismissively, “and that star that’s pulling at you is going to crash into a world. I can’t get near enough to pull it off course. I can’t hold you back for very long either. I’m surprised you’re floating so long.”

September frowned and the thought came to her (as irrelevant thoughts are prone to come at the worst of times) that this was far more of an adventure than she had asked for. 

“You still here?” came a shout. Then, when September had responded, she said, “Good, now I’ll tell you everything, see what you make of it.” September was both alarmed and a little pleased to have her opinion asked by someone who seemed to be a veteran of this sort of thing. She listened to the whole story, succinctly but clearly told. 

“It’s stuck? What is the star stuck on?” September asked

“I can’t get near enough to see, but it’s stuck pretty badly. I can see it trying to pull free.”

“It’s alive?” September asked then wondered at being surprised. She should have expected it.

“Of course it is!”

“I can get pretty near it; do you think it’ll talk to me?”

“I’m not sure,” W said, “they don’t usually talk to people. They’ve kept pretty hidden from most of Fairyland, after the Great War. They don’t approve of wars and such.“

“It’s the best plan we’ve got,” September said, determined now. “Can you help me get into orbit?”

W agreed and with some maneuvering and calculation W got her in close enough to put her in a spiraling orbit where she wouldn’t crash immediately. When she could spare attention from the controls, she heard a high, piping voice say, “Oh! You’re not a star.”

“No,” September agreed, “is that why you were pulling me in?”

“Yes,” sighed the voice, “stars don’t get very near to each other, we prefer to be alone, but I could have used some help. You have star magic.”

“The car has star magic,” September said, “I’m sorry for the mistake.”

The star sighed, “Ay me, ay me.” 

“How are you stuck? I want to try and help.”

“I can’t see, can you?”

Now, what September had learned from her time being stuck at Fairyland was that some magic, not much and not very, was like machinery. And sometimes, when it was, she could work it. She had an occasional suspicion that it depended on how much she needed something to work, Fairyland arranging things in its own incomprehensible way, because sometimes the skill worked when it shouldn’t, but that of course was the definition of magic even if many Scientifick people would disagree.

This time it worked. The star was stuck with magic, but it looked to September like an engine. She couldn’t understand it completely but she thought she could direct the star on how to get unstuck. She got to work.

\--

Meanwhile, Ell had mournfully left the workshop when he was certain that the professor had forgotten that he had a guest and would almost certainly use him as an experiment or an assistant for an experiment if he didn’t leave. He made his way out after a few false starts, the professor’s directions being so vague as to be useless. He wasn’t where they had started; he was back in Fairyland proper. He loped around dismally and thought that he might as well have gone on an adventure anyway since he felt as awful as if he was in one and he didn’t even have the excitement of it. 

Suddenly he caught sight of a familiar flash of blue, and he called out, “Saturday?” 

Then Saturday was standing beside him and smiling.

“I didn’t know you were back,” Ell said

“I just came back. I went to visit you and September,” Saturday looked around a little shyly at this point, as if he expected September to be hiding around a corner, “but they told me you were probably attending the book auction.”

“There’s a book auction?” Ell asked, then remembered what auction it was and yelled, “We’ll miss it, come on.”

Ell ran and Saturday was forced to run to keep up with him. It wasn’t far away at all and when they reached Ell explained why September wasn’t with him. Saturday had a complicated expression Ell couldn’t understand. They sat down near the back of the crowd and Ell checked for his library apprenticeship card that would let him make purchases for the library within reason, he had been warned.

Ell frowned, with his sharp eyes he could see that a book was hurtling from the auction stage towards them. Almost immediately after, a boy with a jaunty hat floated up and followed it. He swooped and swirled but the book was clever and always slipped through his hands at the last second. Finally, the book came to a halt in Saturday’s hands. Saturday looked alarmed. Two of the guards of the auction were striding towards him, along with one of the auctioneers, an old woman who frowned at them, at the book and at the flying boy with equal dislike.

Finally she said, “That book chooses its owner,” and visibly washing her metaphorical hands of the whole business she strode away the way she had come.

“That book’s mine,” the boy said.

Saturday looked at him with growing dislike but said nothing. Ell nudged him to move out of the aisle, they certainly wouldn’t get anything else done during the auction so they might as well leave. The way everyone else was staring was disturbing.

The boy followed them out getting more of a whine in his voice and swooping and whooshing and knocking everything around without a care. Hawkers and passerbys yelled after them but he didn’t seem to hear any of it except to mock one fruitseller by stealing an apple and swooping up into the sky. Saturday and Ell exchanged meaningful looks and slow shakes of the head, trying to figure out how to lose him.

Finally the boy said, “I need to find my lost love.”

Ell turned one eye on him suspiciously but Saturday looked a little less certain now. The rules of Fairyland dictated that they at least ask him about his story.

The boy looked speculative when Saturday politely asked but waved it away to say, “That’s a finder book you’ve got there. It finds things and I’ve got to find my heart. A thief stole my kiss which was the last bit I think.”

Ell was certain now that Saturday would help the boy. To himself he admitted that the boy seemed mischievous but not definitely evil, but all the same he looked like trouble. He told himself he should have known when he was saying ‘like old times,’ that it was bound to call an adventure upon him.

\--

W yelled, “It’s no use,” and her voice sounded very sorry, like she was holding back a sob. Not a genteel sniff but heavy snotty tears. 

“But it’s free,” September said, surprised, “the star’s free.”

“I can’t change my course now,” the high voice said, also sounding like it had a sob in its voice. 

“But… but,” September said, “there must be something…”

“Will you please take my heart?” the star said, “I would rather die than kill an entire world, but if you take my heart and give it to the protector of Fairyland then at least it will live.” It added wistfully, “I’m only a few thousand years old, there was so much I wanted to see. “

“Of course,” September said, and now there was a little sob in her voice that she suppressed with determination. “What should I do?”

“Who is the person who made that car?” the star asked, “they know star magic. I will die and give you my flame but they must take my heart out. Promise on your north star.”

This is one of the strongest promises that a star can ask, and September did it, although she wasn’t sure at all that the professor could take out the heart and who the protector of Fairyland might be, she had no clue.

The star’s flame slowly lessened down to about a candle’s worth and it flew uncertainly to W, looking like it might go out. September made her way to W too, and explained that they needed to find an asteroid.

\--

September in her car arrived before W did but not by much. September let W explain while she stood quietly with the flame. W seemed to know more about it than her and she felt she did not want to talk just yet. The professor kept nodding and ‘hm’ing.

After a bit he told them abruptly to hush and beckoned to September to give him the little flame. September was never sure what exactly he did although both she and W stood there for the hour or so it took the professor to do his work. W turned out to be a woman shorter than September with a large backpack and kindly eyes that had laugh creases along the outer edges although her lips were turned firmly down at the moment. The equipment she used to travel in space was packed away in her bag and she had firmly refused to let the professor touch it saying only, it works because I believe it does.

September spoke up once to ask, “Do you know who the protector is?”

W’s voice was deeper than it had sounded through the thinness of space, “I have an idea. We’ll ask the professor if he can give us a shortcut through his ingenious doors.”

When the professor was done, he handed them a flame even littler than the one they had given him. It looked even more likely to go out. W looked at it frequently as she negotiated with the professor about his doors. 

When they were walking out the professor said solemnly, “I didn’t know that Star Magic was Live Magic.” He sounded troubled and he added, “I will be careful with the Magic.” W nodded firmly and walked on, September mutely followed.

“This is only near where we need to go,” W explained, when they had left the professor’s doorways, “and not very near. He said this is as close as he’s ever been and he can’t get the doors any closer than any place he’s been.” W took them to a grass covered stone wall and slowly started tapping on it. September wondered how she distinguished it from every other stone wall there. Suddenly, W caught hold of her and pulled her and they stumbled into darkness.

The little flame in September’s hands flickered bravely but W said, “Save your strength, I have a light,” and took a self-lighting wooden stick out of her backpack. It looked homemade, an useful trick to know, September thought.

The darkness seemed to be alive. Every step seemed to be a trap. They talked to keep their spirits up. W told September about how she had been brought to a small island off Fairyland proper by a boy who taught her to fly. Something occurred to September but flew out of her head again almost immediately. 

W continued that she had gone back home but she too had lost her heart to Fairyland and had searched a long time to come back. Then she had become an explorer. She added in a faintly amused voice that she had also been a librarian and it had been so funny how many biographies had been written about her. Were any of them true, September wanted to know. 

One was, a little, but it wasn’t one that most people could get access to. W sounded disapproving and September agreed; books were for reading. September told her a little about her own journeys to Fairyland and they continued the walk in the darkness. 

\--

Ell was less annoyed than Saturday but not by much. The boy had left the apple half eaten then stolen fish and then started a fight in a passing market by whispering things and vanishing before anyone could see him.

“Do you think he’s telling the truth?” Saturday asked him while the boy was busy creating more trouble.

Ell hesitated, on the one hand it would be nice to say ‘no’ and go back to his comfortable library to fret in peace about September until she came back. The finder book had led them on a wild bicycle chase. It had shown them three separate locations to start with, two of them in space. Then those two had become one but still over Fairyland. The third location was somewhere both Ell and Saturday were sure didn’t exist. It wasn’t part of any other map of Fairyland they could find. But Peter, the boy, was quite sure the location did exist and he was determined to find it when he wasn’t distracted by whatever mischief he could cook up immediately.

On the other hand, the finder book was clearly old magic. It was the sort of book he’d not put on the shelves in his library. You don’t let people who don’t know magic just come across this sort of thing by accident. Like they had. It created trouble. 

What finally decided Ell was the certainty that Peter would not leave them alone until he found what he was looking for. He mentioned that to Saturday who nodded and said, “That’s why I think he’s telling the truth.”

\--

They fell through the entrance, September tucking the little heart in to keep it unhurt. She stood up and saw to her amazement that Saturday and Ell were standing at the other end of the little cave they had fallen into.

Saturday smiled sweetly at her and September felt a laugh bubbling out of her chest for no reason that she could see. 

“I’m so glad to see you both,” she said happily.

“Both?” asked Saturday, eyes wide and uncertain.

September felt unaccustomedly shy and shook her head in annoyance. She stepped back to introduce W and was further annoyed by the fact that she and Ell were already chattering away in low voices and W was laughing about something, while Ell looked positively awestruck. 

All of them looked up at the whirring sound that seemed to come from a little cave September hadn’t noticed, too distracted by Saturday and Ell’s presence. September tucked the little heart firmly into her arms and was glad that she had done so when something ‘whooshed’ past her and would have tripped her up if she hadn’t been holding onto Saturday’s hand. She hurriedly pulled it back, not sure when she had done that. The something seemed to be a tall, somewhat familiar boy, not quite as tall as Saturday, with a jaunty hat who was floating slightly above the floor. Behind him was a mechanical contraption in various shades of warm gold.

“Peter,” W exclaimed.

The boy thudded to the floor, “Wendy?” he asked.

“What are you doing here?” W asked.

September suddenly remembered how she had been brought into Fairyland this time, by a laughing boy who told her to close her eyes and believe she could fly. “I have your thimble.”

Peter whirled round and looked narrowly at her, “I’ve been looking for you, thief!” he whooshed past her again.

“Peter!” Wendy said and caught hold of him as Ell contrived to get between September and Peter. Peter struggled out of her grip half-heartedly but remained floating beside her, with a sulky look on his face.

“I am not a thief,” September said firmly, and Ell nodded. September fumbled for the thimble, but had to let go of Saturday’s hand which she had been holding without noticing again. She held out the thimble and W took it from her and laughed, a girlish note in the deep sound. 

“Oh Peter!”

Peter thudded to the floor again and stared at her, sulky look melting away.

If a clock could cough, then that was the sound September heard next, magnified enormously. A cosy rumbling and thudding, like the call to dinner when one is exhausted from playtime.

The clockwork thing spoke, and the voice seemed to echo in her heart, “Welcome to all of you.” September trusted that voice instantly. 

Peter looked embarrassed but stammered out, “I want my heart.”

The mechanical person turned their upper portion towards him, “I cannot give it to you.” 

“My part of the deal’s done,” Peter said indignantly, as if he’d already forgotten that they had only just met.

“Have you been making deals? Why?” W asked sharply.

Peter turned to her, “I thought I might try growing up.” He sounded as if he was admitting a shameful secret. He explained, “Your kiss was the piece of my heart I carried with me and I thought I could maybe, with my heart. I figured I’d look for you after.”

“Growing up?” W repeated, forehead creasing, stepping closer to him. “It doesn’t work like that Peter. You have to… you have to just choose to do it. Not mess about with deals and stuff.”

“I choose it then,” Peter said, without the slightest hesitation and suddenly he seemed a lot… more solid. Less likely to just float away. W raised her hand to his cheek. They were very close indeed by this time. 

The others could barely hear what Peter whispered, they should have turned away but I blush to confess dear Reader, everyone was too eager to see the end. “To grow up would be an awfully big adventure,” they heard and then they wisely did turn away.

The clockwork person made a motion that looked nothing at all like a smile, seeing as they were mechanical, but was clearly a smile in any case, “I am the Heart of Fairyland. I keep all the hearts in Fairyland safe and,” here they smiled specially at September, “I think you have something for me.” 

September carefully handed over the little star-heart to the Heart. The Heart leaned down to press their cheek against the small flame heart and the flame grew brighter. 

The Heart said, “There will be a party very soon for the young heart here and you are all invited. I’ll show you where you can rest before the party.” They turned around and whirred off. They all followed her after.

September could tell that Saturday was glancing at her from the corner of his eyes, and they were holding hands again. Her cheeks grew hot but she didn’t let go this time. Ell looked back at them once but seemed to feel that they were quite all right the way they were.

Saturday whispered something that September couldn’t hear. 

“What?” she asked, too loud and then again, quieter, “what?”

“You could find your heart here,” he glanced at her then down.

September was puzzled.

He went on, still low-voiced, “You didn’t choose me, you could choose not to. Not to choose me.”

September understood this rather jumbled speech very well. “Saturday, no! That isn’t what I want.”

Saturday went on, face set in an uncharacteristically stubborn expression, “You’ve wanted to.” They’d stopped by now, and turned face to face.

“No, Saturday,” September sighed, “I just wanted a chance to decide.”

“You have a chance now,” Saturday looked utterly miserable at the thought, but it warmed September that he realized this was important to her, if not exactly what she wanted.

“I had a chance,” she said, slightly louder than she meant to, her face hot again, “I chose, Saturday. You’re in my heart because I chose you.” 

Saturday looked at her and September shied back at the expression on his face, her stomach feeling like it was in knots. Saturday wisely let it be and they hurried to catch up with the others. Their joined hands hung between.

September had a bare few hours to wash up and change her practical clothing to something that was not nearly as practical but made September feel quite like an adult when she looked into the polished surface that served her as a mirror.

A whirring bell rang out and it felt like her feet had knowledge she didn’t, taking her to an enormous square courtyard with an open roof which would have looked even bigger if it weren’t brimming full. Ell landed beside her, eyes bright, scales and fur gleaming and Saturday appeared on her other side. Before they had a chance to talk, September looked up and saw Heart coming towards her. The courtyard was silent but Heart’s warm whirring voice would have been audible anyway.

“For saving one of our hearts, September, thank you,” was all Heart said as they held their hands out. September took them and if she’d been at all afraid of the heavy cogs and wheels she was immediately reassured at the gentle hold. It seemed to be some sort of cue; fireworks whizzed up and music, jigging music that seemed to reach into her very bones, started playing. 

She whirled from Heart’s hold into the holds of other hearts, some made of glass, some made of concrete, some light as a feather and some heavy with secrets, and all were laughing even if all the laughter wasn’t pleasant. Fairyland held all and every sort of being and Heart wouldn’t discriminate. In their wisdom, they protected all of Fairyland. 

Then she came into Heart’s hold a second time and the music was slower. 

“I protect your heart too,” Heart said, “Ever since you lost it so many years ago. I was glad to have it, it was such a pretty heart and I like to watch it grow.”

“Do hearts grow always?” September asked

“Some hearts,” Heart paused as if unsure they wanted to say what they were going to, which frightened September a little, “do you regret losing your heart?”

September looked up and wished that Heart had eyes so she could tell… but no, Heart would have been incomprehensible no matter what. “No,” she said, and was sure it was true. 

Heart sighed as if a burden were off their shoulder, “I’m glad. I’ve often wanted to ask those who lose their hearts to me, but I never had the chance.” They made that motion that seemed like a smile, “Would you like to see your heart September?”

September hesitated a moment. Did she want to see her heart? She had lost it almost before she knew what she was losing. Maybe it would bring some sort of clarity to see it. Then she thought about Saturday and about adulthood and all of the twisty-turny things she was just starting to learn about and realized that she would rather figure it out as she went along. There was just one thing she wanted to confirm, “Can I… unlose it? Or is it lost forever?”

Heart’s smile this time was different, a little mischievous, “Your heart doesn’t rest in just one place September, the part you lost to Fairyland is yes, lost forever. There are other parts.”

“I’ll keep losing parts, won’t I?” September felt slightly mournful. “Will it always ache?”

“Throughout your life,” Heart agreed to the first question, and added gently, “And there will always be times it hurts. That is what hearts are for.”

September passed from Heart again but the dance had grown slower and there seemed to be fewer beings still dancing and eventually, after midnight had passed she ended up dancing with Saturday. The music was very slow and wistful by now and they swayed together more than dancing. In the distance September could see W and Peter swaying as well, a few inches off the ground. Gradually September noticed that she had grown a little and the curve between Saturday’s shoulder and his neck was the perfect place to rest her head. It eased the funny little pang that rested in her chest, where she had learned the heart was in school. Then Saturday rested his cheek on her head and September closed her eyes and tightened her arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously when the next book comes out this'll be completely au but I tried to make it as canon-adjacent as possible. I really hope I haven't made any mistakes, although I had trouble confirming a few canon points. I just hope you enjoy it!


End file.
